Jill Scott Tells Single Moms “Be His Mother, Be His Friend, But Don’t Be His Girlfriend”

Posted by: cnikky


Jill Scott is an inspiring singer, writer and actress and she is starring in the upcoming film, Baggage Claim.  Her bright smile is contagious, but she doesn’t only warm hearts, she also stimulates minds and gives great advice.  Our friends at Madame Noire spoke to Miss Scott about several issues including being a single mom.  She has a young son and is no longer with his father, so she knows a lot about the subject!  How many ladies are with men raised by single mothers, who can’t seem to let go of their sons????  Many of us have experienced that at some point.  If they are still single, most likely they are still depending on their sons for emotional support and often times financial support.  It’s hard to let your little boy go, but when he becomes a man and commits to a woman…it’s time to let him spread his wings and fly!


When we caught up with the singer on the press junket for the upcoming movie “Baggage Claim,” we knew exactly what we wanted to ask her about: that 2010 essay on interracial dating in Essence magazine and her advice for single mothers raising black men, in light of both her admission to suffering from postpartum depression after having her son and the shooting death of Trayvon Martin. Miss Scott was kind enough to speak freely on both topics and this is what she had to say.

Advice to single moms

“Be his mother, be his friend, but don’t be his girlfriend. That’s a big one.

“He’ll have to understand the repercussions of his actions. That’s your job. To make sure that he understands and feels the full brunt of what will happen if he doesn’t abide by the rules of this here house. I’m going to be lenient. I’m not going to lock you in a cage, but society will. So I need you to understand the pros and cons of being a rebel. Real spit.

“Don’t talk bad about his dad. If you have to bite your tongue in half, do that before you start talking crap about his dad. He’ll look at that as a reflection of himself and exactly who you don’t want him to be is who he’ll be because he thinks it’s in his DNA, but it’s bigger than DNA and that’s big.”

How she feels about her 2010 essay on interracial dating today

“I wasn’t talking about interracial dating and that’s where everybody seemed to get it twisted. The article was intended to be called ‘I’m just saying.’ What it ended up being was Jill Scott discusses interracial relationships. I’m a writer and the first thing I know is in order to discuss something I have to do research and that’s not what that article was about.

“It was a response, the internal response, to a happy, healthy, wealthy, black man having a white wife or a white girlfriend. What is that in us? That’s what I was talking about. Not them. Us. So it was pretty unfortunate what I ended up being on this platform where I don’t like interracial relationships. That’s not what I said. That’s not what I said at all.

“I love love. If you love that person, please love them hard and good. But if you are there because you think that having this woman validates who you are as a person, then you’re misguided and misled.”

No argument here. In the video below, Jill Scott also admitted to dating a white man before and also laid out what her idea of perfect man is, including someone who is “hungry for her love making often.”

Go head Miss Scott!

Watch the Interview Below:

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